Perusing my SPAM folder - the following contains bad innuendo and euphemisms

Every once and awhile I look through my Gmail SPAM folder to see if anything semi-important got sent into there. I always chuckle at the solicitations I receive (I have 4 email accounts that I forward to Gmail and some of them are so old I've lost complete control of them). I wasn't sure about the appropriateness of posting something risqué so I've left out the real bad ones.

*Warning - if you are offended by bad innuendo and euphemisms, do not read any further*

Here's some of the better SPAM subject lines I've received recently. These are all real emails. Oh, (sic) for all of these.

Let’s start with “direct and to the point.” No ambiguity here:

Most popular shlong enlargement

Why be a tiny cocktail sausage, when you can be a mighty wiener.

These next ones know it’s really all about the ladies:

Pick up a chick anytime with this.

Enjoy the last laugh over the sports jocks by getting ALL the hot chicks.

Enlarge your instrumment and you will be popular among girls

When unzipping means unleashing a monster... watch ladies ooh and aah with delight.

And, of course, there are the attacks on my self esteem:

Be a member of the Big Boys' Club.

I want to be a macho man

Enhance your reputation with this.

She is trying to damage your reputation

Let's bet that my male aggregate is bigger than your

Don't be looser increase your male aggregate

Only losers have small male organ

And my personal favorites – the Practical Considerations:

When you reach the growth size that you want to achieve, you no longer need to take VPXL

An increase in cells allows for more blood to enter the ----- making the ----- larger and the -------- more intense.

You'll need larger pants

And finally:

where did you get that sofa?